Relationships are essential to living a complete, happy life. Because all people are connected by a power that’s greater than us, our relationships are inherently spiritual. There are many different kinds of relationships, such as family, coworkers, peers, mentors, and friends. Some of the most important relationships in our lives are romantic relationships. Having a life partner can be one of the most fulfilling things you’ll ever experience.
As time moves on and your romantic relationship gets more serious, you might find yourself thinking more about the role of spirituality in your relationship. Whether or not you’re someone who considers themselves spiritual, talking about spirituality with your partner is important. In fact, spirituality can make your relationship stronger. Keep reading for a list of eight questions to ask your partner for a more spiritual romance.
Spirituality in Romantic Relationships
Spirituality might seem like it’s a solo thing. You meditate alone, you pray alone, you journal alone. But you can also do those things with others. In addition, when you prioritize spirituality, you become the best version of yourself, which impacts other aspects of your life. When you’re in a good place spiritually, that light radiates from you and touches all of your relationships.
A committed, romantic relationship is more intimate than your other friendships. You’ll probably share things with your partner that you don’t share with anyone else. Your partner will have a clearer view of your true self than your acquaintances and even your family. Because of this shared closeness, your spirituality plays an even stronger role in your romantic relationship. It’s who you are. Ignoring your spirituality in a romantic relationship is ignoring a huge part of yourself.
It’s not just your individual spirituality that matters in a romantic relationship. You and your partner have a shared sense of spirituality together—whatever form this takes. This shared spirituality involves the two of you practicing spirituality together. You create a spiritual wellness practice for your relationship. When you include God in your romantic relationship, your connection with one another grows stronger. You cultivate more love, authenticity, and gratitude for each other.
Are Shared Religious Beliefs Essential in a Relationship?
Spirituality is different from religion. You and your partner may both consider yourselves spiritual people, and yet you may identify with different religious traditions. With the amount of religious diversity there is in the world, it’s not abnormal to encounter differing beliefs in a romantic relationship. If you’re experiencing this, you might be wondering if this is a problem. Are shared religious beliefs essential in a relationship?
Having different religious beliefs can be a point of contention. Sometimes it leads to trying to convince the other of your beliefs, or vice versa. Other times, it might increase family pressures. If you’re thinking about having children together, it’s essential to consider what religious beliefs you plan to teach them. There are many hurdles to jump through and plenty of hard conversations to have if you’re going to commit to a romantic relationship with someone who has different religious beliefs than you. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it!
Every relationship has its mountains to climb. Whether you want different religious beliefs to be one of your mountains is up to you. The truth is, sharing a religious foundation can certainly make some parts of a relationship easier, but it’s not everything. Having a partner who respects you, treasures you, and supports you is most important in a romantic relationship. And you can work through your differences in belief. The next section gives some tips for navigating different beliefs in a romantic relationship.
Navigating Different Beliefs
Dealing with different beliefs in a romantic relationship takes time and effort. It begins with having spiritual conversations and really listening to each other. In our article Showing Love Despite Spiritual Differences, we said:
“If we want to maintain strong connections with those that differ from us, the answer is to listen. Listening allows a peek into someone’s life—their struggles, their successes, and their spiritual perspectives. They are putting themselves in a vulnerable position and opening up their heart and spirit to you. Don’t shut them off by opening your mouth too soon. Naturally, as human beings, we are quick to judge others, especially those with differing views. But if we want to truly see their perspective and understand their spiritual perspective, we have to learn to listen with love. How often do you really listen with the intent of actually understanding—rather than listening only to respond?
“Once you’ve incorporated genuine listening into your relationship, you’ll recognize areas you agree and places you disagree. Celebrate the similarities! Maybe you both fill your souls when you’re in nature. So, plan a hike or two and celebrate this commonality. It will strengthen your connection to each other and deepen your connection with the universe. Create time to bond over the things you have in common. Nurture your relationship by focusing on these similar ideals. You’ll notice the feeling of division that comes from conflicting thoughts slowly dissipate because you’re not focused on the differences. Choose to focus on the good. As you bond over the similarities in your spiritual perspectives, you help create an environment where you and your friend/associate can learn from the differences.”
If you’re looking for effective ways to talk about spirituality, check out Spiritual Conversations 101 for twenty spiritual conversation starters.
Eight Questions for a More Spiritual Romance
When you and your partner are ready to level up your relationship, practice spirituality together. Most of the time, you don’t need to share exactly the same beliefs to do this. You can find common ground in what you do believe and work from there. Bringing spirituality into your relationship will strengthen your connection to each other through the Divine.
It’s hard to know where to start if you’re looking for a more spiritual foundation to your romance. The next time you and your partner talk about your relationship and how you want to improve, introduce spirituality to the discussion. Here are eight questions that are essential to ask your partner when you want to bring spirituality into your romantic relationship:
- What was God’s role in bringing us together?
- What is one thing your higher power has taught you through this relationship?
- In which areas of our relationship are we disconnected, and how can we improve these areas?
- What good can we give to the world?
- What spiritual practices can we do together?
- How do you see the Divine in me?
- What are you grateful for in our relationship?
- How can I help you with your spiritual goals?
The great thing about these questions is that you can discuss them multiple times. As your relationship grows, your spiritual needs will change. Perhaps one of you has a crisis of faith at some point, or one of you decides you want to join a particular church, or you both decide you want to take a new spiritual path. At those points, or any other time you want a spiritual checkup, pull out these questions for a more spiritual romance.
A Prayer for Your Relationship
The following prayer can be found on the Skylight app, and it’s read by Kelly Boys. It’s a prayer on relationships in general, but you can apply it to your romantic relationship, too.
Spirit, this prayer is for my relationships. Please help me to get out of my own way as I relate to my friends and my loved ones.
I want to see my relationships thrive, and I know part of that is in bringing this increased self-awareness to the places where I close down, where I sometimes feel defensive, from feeling perhaps unseen or not met by another.
I acknowledge my vulnerability, this shared vulnerability we all have as we relate intimately with other human beings. And I ask for guidance and support. I affirm my deep care for those closest to me, and I commit to treating them as I would want to be treated, with respect, with allowance for their foibles, and with kindness.
I commit to being in close relationships that sustain and encourage me, and to letting go of the ones that have demonstrated otherwise and that drag me down.
This prayer is also for my relationship to myself. May I also treat myself with kindness, with respect, with care. And may I consider others as I do myself.
If you want a stronger relationship with your partner, try bringing God into it. With spirituality, you’ll connect better to yourselves, your higher power, and each other. Use the eight questions in this article to bring spirituality into your romantic relationship.
Are you in an unhealthy or recently ended relationship? Try these meditations, Heal a Toxic Relationship or Breakup Blues.
If you’re looking for more help improving your relationships with spirituality, check out these related articles:
How Meditation Affects Our Important Relationships
How to Create Meaningful Connections with Others